Emotional Regulation through Venting

We’ve all been there before…

We’ve had a day and a half where it seemed like the textbook definition of Murphy’s Law coming to fruition: “everything that can go wrong will go wrong”.

So we seek out the comfort of those closest to us as a way of regulating ourselves back into a state of centered balance through social engagement (ventral vagal state for those nervous system lovers like myself).

So how can this train become further derailed?

• Sometimes our loved ones are not in a place to be able to receive the heaviness of our days.

• Sometimes they have had a day and a half themselves, and just one more thing for them will throw them out of their own window of tolerance.

• Maybe they are already in a triggered state from a previous interaction they had.

The last thing we want when we are looking for support is to be met with frustration, half listening, or disengagement.

It is important for this reason that we begin to ask before venting to others.

Some ways you might frame this are:

1. Are you in a space to be able to hear me talk about something?

2. I’ve been going through a lot today…would you be willing to hear me vent now or would another time be better?

3. I’m needing to process something with someone, are you free and able to listen right now?

Let me know if you end up trying any of these phrases. I know that I’ve seen shifts in my communication and relationships since beginning this practice.

Yours in wellness & healing,

Angela

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