Bringing up Boundaries

It seems like boundaries are all the rage these days, and for good reason. Without a boundary system in place you may feel lost, like you are placing others needs above your own, or are constantly feeling taken advantage of by others. When we have a good functioning boundary system in place we:

• Allow for our own truth to be heard

• Become an advocate for our own needs

• Release ourselves from anger and resentment

• Free up space for things that allow us to thrive

Sounds like a no brainer, right? If you have begun your boundary making journey you know that this is no easy walk in the park. Beginning to implement boundaries can come with many obstacles that can feel like roadblocks, and we may become discouraged and deterred from wanting to continue to initiate them.

Some helpful reminders when beginning boundary work:

1. You will get pushback from the people you are enacting a boundary with. Usually this individual has been benefiting from your lack of boundaries for some time now and doesn’t like the changes. They will test how much you truly are standing by your word.

2. You will feel like a broken record during this transition time as you restate your boundary to the individual who is testing it. It is helpful to remember that boundaries are you advocating for your own personal needs, truth, well being, safety, etc. - not the attempt to change the behavior of another. This helps to shift the focus from frustration surrounding the continued behavior. Try this affirmation: “Despite what happens, I am staying true to myself and advocating for my needs.”

3. You will feel like you aren’t doing it right if you don’t hold true to your boundaries or put them in place 100% of the time. This is normal, and please know that people considered Masters in the mental health field report that boundary work is an ongoing practice that they still consistently have to work on. Remember that the process is all about progress and not perfection.

Phew!! There are so many layers when it comes to learning about boundaries and the steps that go into practicing this new language. I hope that you find some of these tips helpful! I’d love to hear from you what your struggles and wins are when it comes to boundaries, or if you have any questions in general. I am holding lots of love and space for you this week as you continue your healing journey.

Yours in wellness & healing,

Angela

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